MAY 31st. (journal entry)

Psalm 62:1-2, 5-8
"My soul waits in silence for God only; from Him is my salvation. He only is my rock and my salvation, my stronghold; i shall not be greatly shaken... My soul, wait in silence for God only. For my hope is from Him. He only is my rock and my salvation, my stronghold; I shall not be shaken. On God my salvation and my glory rest; the rock of my strength, my refuge is in God. TRUST IN HIM AT ALL TIMES, O people; pour out your hear before Him; God is a refuge for us. Selah."


Psalm 62 had been such a sweet scripture for me! A friend of mine suggested I read through it when I was overwhelmed during finals week and since then I go to it quite often!!! It is good for me to be reminded to "wait in silence for God" silence shows a trust in the Lord that is both patient and uncomplaining! And because of the confidence I have in the Lord, I will not be shaken! I think to myself, patient and uncomplaining! It is a hard way to approach a trial especially when my heart wants to be in Guatemala so badly!


And so the plot thickens!!!... When Jenny got the call from American Airlines around four this afternoon, our hearts sank! Our flight for the 2nd (wednesday) got cancelled. We keep reading the news of the now 100+ deaths in Guatemala and find it hard to be sitting here in Dallas not able to do anything. I will admit, it is hard to continue serving here in Dallas with a completely happy outlook. I am thankful for the spirit of the Lord at work in me and pray that He will continue to grow my attitude to be one that is like Christ and thankful to serve wherever I am! 


I am running to James 1 for encouragement today. "Consider it all joy, my brothers, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously and without reproach , and it will be given to him. But he must ask in faith without any doubting, for the one who doubts is like the surf of the sea, driven and tossed by the wind." -consider it pure joy: The human response to trials is not rejoicing and happiness. That is why we MUST make a commitment to face them with joy and gladness! -trials: this word in verb form literally means "to put someone or something to the test" We are being tested! God allows us to experience these trials to prove and increase the strength of our faith. -ask in faith: Prayer has to be offered with a confident trust in our sovereign God. -without any doubting: We cannot ask with a distrust in God! Our belief that He is sovereign goes void if we do not trust in that sovereignty! 


God never ceases to amaze me!!! His provisions for our team are unbelievable! Our plans have changed completely! We are now leaving for Honduras on Wednesday. 


Before I go on I have to just praise my awesome Father! He has been so sweet to give my team and me this time in Dallas! until 10 o'clock tonight, I was really struggling with why God had me here for the past few days. But oh how sweet He is to open my eyes to see His beautiful plan. Before I left home I was so nervous about flying alone. Not because I am afraid to fly but because I was afraid of having to play catch up with my team to get to know them since they would have the hours of traveling together. I allowed all of my insecurities to flood my mind. I was worried they would already have this love for each other and I wouldn't be able to break into the group. When our flights got pushed back to Sunday (May 30th) I was thrilled to find out I was going to be flying with my team! I hadn't prayed specifically to be with my team but for some form of bonding before we were in the hustle and bustle of interning. Five whole days (that's 120 hours) together in Dallas will do it!
Here is where God so graciously revealed a little piece of His plan to me. Wednesday morning at 2:30AM I will be heading to DFW airport ALONE! ALONE! That word that haunted my thoughts days ago now has no hold over me. God is so good! 


So, we will be serving the beautiful children of Nueva Esperanza orphanage in San Pedro Sula Honduras. Isn't God sweet to allow me to travel to the exact place I was supposed to go one year ago? I am overwhelmed by all God has blessed me with! Thank you so much for all of your prayers!!!


"Oh Father, You continue to amaze me with your plans for me. you have taught me so much in such a small amount of time. You have been so sweet to bring me to this time of trials Lord. god I know that it is only because of your goodness and grace that I am able to proclaim boldly Philippians 4:11 "Not that I speak from want, for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am!" God I am content! I am satisfied! You are my sufficiency! God I will remember 1 Samuel 7:12 "Thus far the LORD has helped us." you are the one responsible for bringing me to the place I am at. You are my provider. You are there for me in times of faithfulness and rebellion. You help me fight my battles and You provide me with blessings beyond my belief! You are my comforter and my deliverer. You are my Beloved. You are my King. Oh God continue to stretch me! Stretch me as far as you see fit God! Grow me. Reveal Yourself to me in ways like never before! Give me your heart for the Children and people of Honduras. Be with Crista, Christina, Jenny, Anna, Elizabeth, Brittany, Eric and me as we travel on Wednesday. I pray that if it is Your will that we will make it there without complications. Thank You for Your Son and Your grace. I love You and Thank You! Amen"