just a glimpse.

God was faithful to me in Honduras.  He taught me so much about myself, love, the body, faith and Himself.  The questions I have gotten most since returning home are these, “What did you learn?” and “What was your favorite place to go?”  Neither of these questions can be answered in a casual conversation. So I feel like this is the perfect place to answer both of these questions.

Question number one.  “What did I learn?”

The Lord taught me so much from the very beginning to the last day of our trip.  As we were stranded in Dallas for a few days and as our plans continued to change time after time, God showed me just how little I am actually in control of.  If you know me at all you know that I am not really a planner and I may be the most go with the flow person ever.  This is indeed how I viewed myself until those days in Dallas. My heart grew impatient very fast and the Lord showed me that I can want to have control over the situation all I want, but it is His perfect divine will that will be accomplished and I cannot change it.  When I arrived in Honduras without my luggage, the Lord sweetly whispered to my heart, “okay Mary Elizabeth, here is an opportunity to serve me and give me the glory even if something doesn’t go your way.” It is completely okay that I cried. I was tired and who wouldn’t have cried, but one thing that I tried very hard not to do was complain and feel sorry for myself.

The next thing God chose to teach me was not something I asked for Him to show me. It was a very hard thing to accept. My parents, family and friends have always told me that I am good at loving people. Well while in Honduras for the first week, the Lord revealed to me that I stink at loving people. In Honduras, the culture is very different. They greet and leave each other with a hug and a kiss. They are very loving and affectionate people. This was difficult for me to learn to do because I’m not a very touchy person. My friends in Auburn know that I have a “face bubble.” God graciously used being immersed into this culture and learning about my team members and how they give and receive love to open my eyes and heart. So Auburn friends get ready! I am going to love you better in the fall.

God blessed me with a wonderful team.  They taught me so much just by being around them. They have the sweetest spirits. Crista, Christina and I spent over three hours one night in a hammock at the mission just sharing with each other. Sharing our struggles and our sin. It was a beautiful picture of the body.  Sharing personal things like my struggles and sin with others is not a very easy thing for me to do. Some of my struggles were pride, selfishness and bitterness. Over the course of the three hours we talked about a lot. One thing that God had showed all three of us was how our circumstance often affects our relationship with Christ. I was so ashamed at this realization in my own life. It is so easy for me to praise God when things are going well and I am comfortable. My prayer immediately became and is still for God to make me uncomfortable. I want to suffer for the sake of Christ. I want to be made low. I want to be filled ONLY to be emptied!

I learned so much more than this. I wish I could put into words everything the Lord taught me through His Word, His creation, His precious treasures and the body.

 here is a picture of Christina, Crista and me. While in Honduras we memorized Philippians 2 together. It was such an encouragement. 

this is our team plus the original honduras team.

Question number two: “Where was your favorite place to go?”

CASITAS! CASITAS! CASITAS! Casitas is where the government houses teenage girls ages twelve to nineteen. They are in there because they are mentally retarded and the government sees them as unfit to live in society, they have been picked up off the street, their parents or families abandon them, they need protection from rape and violence and for getting into trouble. It is a series of a few cement buildings surrounded by four cement walls with coils of barbed wire lining the top. It is meant to house 50 to 60 girls but is currently housing over 120.

                         This is the entrance to Casitas. 

This is where the girls spend most of their time. To try and stay cool they will all lay in the floor with their faces against the semi-cool cement. 

I loved the children at Las Brisas and Nueva Esperanza, but it is the girls at Casitas that captured the biggest part of my heart. They have such a big part of my heart because the Lord completely transformed my heart while there.  I cannot write or talk about it with out being overwhelmed with emotions and tears. When I first went to Casitas, I was immediately depressed at their situation, I was confused as to why God would allow them to have such terrible life stories, I did not know what to say to them or how to act around the girls, I did not know how to love them and I had a very hard time seeing God’s faithfulness there. As I wrote in my journal after being there for the first time, I just repeated myself over and over. I told myself that there is no way I can do that everyday. I couldn’t be with those girls because I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t want to be there. God did a great work in my heart just in the night. I woke up the next morning and as I was spending time with Him, he reminded me that these girls are His creation. He reminded me that on my own, in my flesh, I am not capable of loving. So, I asked and pleaded with God to invade my heart and allow me to love the girls at Casitas as He loves them. Over the next few days my heart was completely renewed. Casitas had captured it within days. It was a beautiful transformation for me.

As I learned the stories of some of the girls at Casitas, my heart broke for them. All I wanted to do was take them as far away from that place as possible. Then one night as we were driving home things became all too real. We were on our way home and turned onto a street. On the corner of the street there were four girls no older than fourteen dressed in nothing. Tears started instantly as I looked and one of the girls had on nothing but a skirt. She had nothing to cover herself. I found myself wanting to pick them up and take them to Casitas. As terrible as the conditions are, if these girls were not in Casitas, their conditions would be 10 times worse. 

I cannot express to you adequately in words how much my life and heart have been changed. The Lord offered me great comfort from His word while in Honduras. Some of the scriptures that blessed me were... 

Philippians 2.. The whole chapter. Crista, Christina and I would recite what we knew every day. When I would just be silent, I would say it to myself. I was truly hiding in in my heart.

"When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you, when you walk though fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you." Isaiah 43: 2

"Answer me when I call, O God of my righteousness! You have given me relief when I was in distress. Be gracious to me and hear my prayer." Psalm 4:1

"Come let us return to the Lord, for he has torn us, that he may heal us; he has struck us down, and he will bind us up." Hosea 6:1

"But by the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace toward me was not in vain. On the contrary, I worked harder than any of them, though it was not I, but the grace of God that is with me." 1 Corinthians 15:10

"...for i have learned in what ever situation I am to be content." Philippians 4:11b

All of Psalm 62 but especially verse one. "For God alone my soul waits in silence; from him comes my salvation. He only is my rock and my salvation, my fortress, I shall not be greatly shaken."