different yet the same

I am twenty years old. I live in the united states and I am in school at Auburn University. I have a mother who is a constant example of a Proverbs 31 woman and a father who is the most amazing example of what a father and husband should be. They love me unconditionally and continuously point me to Christ. As I have grown up, they have disciplined me out of love. They have taught me sound doctrine and they have taught me to make my faith my own. They point me to truth. They pray for me. They work hard to give me opportunities and experiences. They support the call to missions their children have received. I have siblings who are my best friends. They are faithful to pray for me and with me. They keep me accountable. They study the Word with me. They love me.

Mirna is nineteen years old (almost my age). She lives in a government facility (Las Casitas) in San Pedro Sula, Honduras with her beautiful daughters- Paola who is four and Dulce who is two- and about 130 other teenage girls ages thirteen to nineteen. Mirna brought herself to Casitas about two years ago seeking protection and refuge. She had no other place to go. About five years ago, when Mirna was just a girl and living at home, her father began to rape her. She became pregnant and had Paola. Her father continued to rape her. Two years later she became pregnant again. She had Dulce. Since then she has been in Casitas. The government is allowing her to stay there past the set age, which is a blessing. She helps clean and take care of things. 

             

Mirna is nineteen and has the face of someone so much older. She has been through so much. The beautiful lines in her face tell a story. She is such a beautiful young woman. And oh my goodness!! She is the most amazing mother. She cares so well for Paola and Dulce. They respect her and they obey her. She prays for them and does everything in her power to give them what she can. It is amazing to see the providence of God in their lives. Here her daughters are the products of their grandfather and yet they are beautiful and so smart. God is faithful. 

I cannot help but question why our circumstances are so different. My flesh returns to that question I ask much too frequently, "Why?" "Why was I born into such a beautiful family? Why was I born in the United States? Why does my dad love me unconditionally and as a father should while Mirna's father rapes her? Why have I been blessed with more than I have need for?"  I don't receive an answer. Then I wait for Him in silence and He is faithful to remind me... I know why He utters no answer, He is Himself the answer. Before Him questions die away. What other answer would suffice aside from Him? So, why are our stories and circumstances different? For His glory. I do not understand it, but I trust it. I trust His answer because He is sovereign. 

As different as our stories are, Mirna and I share something in common. We were both helpless, completely depraved in our state before Christ. We are alike in the fact that we could do no good, we are in need of a Savior and we have both tasted grace. We have been given an inheritance that we cannot earn. We have been adopted. We are children of God.

"But when the fullness of time had come, God sent forth his Son, born of woman, born under the law, to redeem those who were under the law, so that we might receive adoption as sons. And because you are sons, God has sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, crying, “Abba! Father!” So you are no longer a slave, but a son, and if a son, then an heir through God." -Galatians 4:4-7

Maryuri.

Hello from Auburn! I am back in Auburn and back in the swing of classes. I enjoyed the time with my family so very much but I am glad to be back in the routine of school. I have missed it. While I am loving being in Auburn, I am missing my precious kids at Nueva Esperanza and my beautiful girls at Casitas. Oh especially my girls. God used them to teach me so much. 

Over the next semester I want to share a little bit here and there with you. 

There is no way that I can share every individual story I had the opportunity to hear. But... I do want to share some of them with you. So... here goes number one. 

This is Maryuri (Marjorie in english). She is one of the most precious girls I have ever had the pleasure of getting to know. She is such a friend. Maryuri turned fourteen while I was in Honduras. It was such a blessing getting to spend her birthday with her. Eight months have now passed since Maryuri arrived at Casitas. Maryuri was one of the first girls I met. The first moment she met me, she greeted me with a hug, a kiss on the cheek and a huge smile. Without knowing anything about me she told me she loved me. She captured my heart from the beginning. As we continued to visit and spend time with the girls, I got to know Maryuri and become her friend. She wanted to know all about my family. She wanted to make me things. I have so many bracelets and little treasures from her. After a week or so of getting to know each other Maryuri opened up about her story and the reason she was at Casitas. Maryuri's mother abandoned her a few years ago. So, Maryuri went to live with her aunt. While living with her aunt, a piece of jewelry went missing. She blamed it on Maryuri and put her on the streets. As close as Maryuri and I were, she could not bring herself to tell me about those nights on the street. She was so ashamed and almost scared of speaking of those nights. I began to cry. Maryuri wiped my tears from my cheeks and continued with her story. Her aunt recovered the jewelry. Realizing Maryuri did not take it, she brought her back home. A month or two later her aunt's cell phone went missing. Once again her aunt blamed it on her. This time she was brought and left at Casitas with the clothes on her back.


I believe whole heartedly and with great confidence that Maryuri knows her Father! She is such a beautiful girl. She has such a sweet spirit! God was so faithful and used Maryuri to teach me so much. Maryuri has so little and yet she gave me so much. Every day I came she would have a new bracelet or picture or letter for me. One day she had a whole bag of things. I told her as she gave me the bag, "Maryuri, I cannot take this. This is your stuff." She would not accept my answer. She wanted to give it to me. I wept as i took out the contents of the bag. Maryuri had given me a shirt (even though she wears the same thing for days at a time), a spanish Bible (to help me with my spanish), a book called His Princess- Letters of Love from Your King (Su Princesa- Cartas de amor de tu Rey), pictures she had colored and a few letters. I was so taken back by all the things she gave me and the things that she said to me. I did not deserve any of it! Maryuri wrote in one of her letters, "Maria, I wish so badly I could give you everything I have, I just do not have that much to give." What?? How could this girl with so little want to give away so much? Maryuri has such a servants heart! Maryuri loves the letter in Su Princesa "Te He Dado Un Don" the author quotes 1 Peter 4:10 "As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God's varied grace." Maryuri loved it. 


As Maryuri and I continued to get to know each other we were able to talk about so much. Maryuri and I had a conversation about sin one day. She was telling me all about her sin and how it was very hard for her to understand still that God would sacrifice His only Son for us. She was blinded by the service we were bringing to them. Her vision was clouded and she did not believe that there was any way that I could be "as bad" as she was or a sinner at all for that matter. God was so sweet to give me the opportunity to share all about my sin with her. I was able to share with her that I have had and still have a lot of the same struggles she does. My circumstances are different but I still fall to sin every day. I was able to share with her about my pride and bitterness that so often take a strong hold on me. I was able to completely open up and expose all of the nastiness within me. This allowed us to talk about God's grace and how there is nothing we can do to earn it. That it is unmerited grace. We talked of how God demonstrates His love for us in while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us! Oh how sweet it was to share with Maryuri. 


Maryuri and I, just like every friend pair, faced some struggles. Maryuri is still dealing with understanding the concept of "unconditional love." If Maryuri saw me loving on another girl, she would assume that I did not love her anymore. That my love had run out and I had moved to another. This was a struggle but oh so good for both of us. God took hold of my heart and allowed me the words to share with Maryuri very honestly. That I loved her but it was only because of Christ that I was able to do so. And as much as I loved her God loved her so much more. 


Maryuri is so close to my heart. I pray for her daily and ask that you would join me in praying for her. She is fourteen years old and living in a dark place but is shining so bright. She is such a beautiful girl who despite her circumstance finds joy in Christ. She prays for me. She loves me even though I do not deserve it. Pray that she would continue to seek and find Christ. That He would continue to reveal Himself to her. 


Maryuri taught me so much. She challenges me. I want to be a woman of purpose. I want to be intentional about loving people with the love of Christ. I want to be uncomfortable. I want to hunger even more for the word that I may hide it in my heart and share it with those around me. I want to bring glory to my Father! I want to die to live. 

"But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong." -2 Corinthians 12:9

just a glimpse.

God was faithful to me in Honduras.  He taught me so much about myself, love, the body, faith and Himself.  The questions I have gotten most since returning home are these, “What did you learn?” and “What was your favorite place to go?”  Neither of these questions can be answered in a casual conversation. So I feel like this is the perfect place to answer both of these questions.

Question number one.  “What did I learn?”

The Lord taught me so much from the very beginning to the last day of our trip.  As we were stranded in Dallas for a few days and as our plans continued to change time after time, God showed me just how little I am actually in control of.  If you know me at all you know that I am not really a planner and I may be the most go with the flow person ever.  This is indeed how I viewed myself until those days in Dallas. My heart grew impatient very fast and the Lord showed me that I can want to have control over the situation all I want, but it is His perfect divine will that will be accomplished and I cannot change it.  When I arrived in Honduras without my luggage, the Lord sweetly whispered to my heart, “okay Mary Elizabeth, here is an opportunity to serve me and give me the glory even if something doesn’t go your way.” It is completely okay that I cried. I was tired and who wouldn’t have cried, but one thing that I tried very hard not to do was complain and feel sorry for myself.

The next thing God chose to teach me was not something I asked for Him to show me. It was a very hard thing to accept. My parents, family and friends have always told me that I am good at loving people. Well while in Honduras for the first week, the Lord revealed to me that I stink at loving people. In Honduras, the culture is very different. They greet and leave each other with a hug and a kiss. They are very loving and affectionate people. This was difficult for me to learn to do because I’m not a very touchy person. My friends in Auburn know that I have a “face bubble.” God graciously used being immersed into this culture and learning about my team members and how they give and receive love to open my eyes and heart. So Auburn friends get ready! I am going to love you better in the fall.

God blessed me with a wonderful team.  They taught me so much just by being around them. They have the sweetest spirits. Crista, Christina and I spent over three hours one night in a hammock at the mission just sharing with each other. Sharing our struggles and our sin. It was a beautiful picture of the body.  Sharing personal things like my struggles and sin with others is not a very easy thing for me to do. Some of my struggles were pride, selfishness and bitterness. Over the course of the three hours we talked about a lot. One thing that God had showed all three of us was how our circumstance often affects our relationship with Christ. I was so ashamed at this realization in my own life. It is so easy for me to praise God when things are going well and I am comfortable. My prayer immediately became and is still for God to make me uncomfortable. I want to suffer for the sake of Christ. I want to be made low. I want to be filled ONLY to be emptied!

I learned so much more than this. I wish I could put into words everything the Lord taught me through His Word, His creation, His precious treasures and the body.

 here is a picture of Christina, Crista and me. While in Honduras we memorized Philippians 2 together. It was such an encouragement. 

this is our team plus the original honduras team.

Question number two: “Where was your favorite place to go?”

CASITAS! CASITAS! CASITAS! Casitas is where the government houses teenage girls ages twelve to nineteen. They are in there because they are mentally retarded and the government sees them as unfit to live in society, they have been picked up off the street, their parents or families abandon them, they need protection from rape and violence and for getting into trouble. It is a series of a few cement buildings surrounded by four cement walls with coils of barbed wire lining the top. It is meant to house 50 to 60 girls but is currently housing over 120.

                         This is the entrance to Casitas. 

This is where the girls spend most of their time. To try and stay cool they will all lay in the floor with their faces against the semi-cool cement. 

I loved the children at Las Brisas and Nueva Esperanza, but it is the girls at Casitas that captured the biggest part of my heart. They have such a big part of my heart because the Lord completely transformed my heart while there.  I cannot write or talk about it with out being overwhelmed with emotions and tears. When I first went to Casitas, I was immediately depressed at their situation, I was confused as to why God would allow them to have such terrible life stories, I did not know what to say to them or how to act around the girls, I did not know how to love them and I had a very hard time seeing God’s faithfulness there. As I wrote in my journal after being there for the first time, I just repeated myself over and over. I told myself that there is no way I can do that everyday. I couldn’t be with those girls because I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t want to be there. God did a great work in my heart just in the night. I woke up the next morning and as I was spending time with Him, he reminded me that these girls are His creation. He reminded me that on my own, in my flesh, I am not capable of loving. So, I asked and pleaded with God to invade my heart and allow me to love the girls at Casitas as He loves them. Over the next few days my heart was completely renewed. Casitas had captured it within days. It was a beautiful transformation for me.

As I learned the stories of some of the girls at Casitas, my heart broke for them. All I wanted to do was take them as far away from that place as possible. Then one night as we were driving home things became all too real. We were on our way home and turned onto a street. On the corner of the street there were four girls no older than fourteen dressed in nothing. Tears started instantly as I looked and one of the girls had on nothing but a skirt. She had nothing to cover herself. I found myself wanting to pick them up and take them to Casitas. As terrible as the conditions are, if these girls were not in Casitas, their conditions would be 10 times worse. 

I cannot express to you adequately in words how much my life and heart have been changed. The Lord offered me great comfort from His word while in Honduras. Some of the scriptures that blessed me were... 

Philippians 2.. The whole chapter. Crista, Christina and I would recite what we knew every day. When I would just be silent, I would say it to myself. I was truly hiding in in my heart.

"When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you, when you walk though fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you." Isaiah 43: 2

"Answer me when I call, O God of my righteousness! You have given me relief when I was in distress. Be gracious to me and hear my prayer." Psalm 4:1

"Come let us return to the Lord, for he has torn us, that he may heal us; he has struck us down, and he will bind us up." Hosea 6:1

"But by the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace toward me was not in vain. On the contrary, I worked harder than any of them, though it was not I, but the grace of God that is with me." 1 Corinthians 15:10

"...for i have learned in what ever situation I am to be content." Philippians 4:11b

All of Psalm 62 but especially verse one. "For God alone my soul waits in silence; from him comes my salvation. He only is my rock and my salvation, my fortress, I shall not be greatly shaken." 

home.

I am home and I am overwhelmed with all kinds of emotions. It is wonderful to be with my family and friends and be able to share with them the wonderful blessings God has given me. Although my heart is happy it is also hurting. There is an intense longing to be back in Honduras. The people there have forever taken apart of my heart for themselves. 


I have so much I want to share with you so bare with me over the next few weeks as I try to share story after story with you. 

Like I shared before, the Wednesday I went to Honduras was one of the longest days I have ever experienced. I was in bed by 11:45 Tuesday night and woke up Wednesday morning at 1:30 to be in the lobby of the hotel at 2. Jane Ann and I got down to the lobby only to find out that the DFW airport closes for cleaning in the early morning hours. So, we sat in the lobby of the hotel until 3 and just had a good talk. We got on the shuttle to go to the airport and realized I left my phone in the lobby of the hotel. Jane Ann ran back and got it. She was my life savor! My plane left from DFW to Atlanta on time, we were actually a little bit ahead of schedule. This calmed my nerves a bit since I only had 40 minutes until my next flight took off. Then the pilot comes over the intercom and let us know that because of visibility we would be circling for a little while. A little while ended up being 45 to 50 minutes. The plane hit the runway two minutes before my plane left for Honduras. I got off the plane and went to my gate. They let me know I missed my flight and I went to the Delta desk. I wanted to cry so bad, but I held in my tears. When I told the lady at the desk what happened, she said that they could put me on the flight to Honduras on Thursday. I let her know why I was going to Honduras and that i was a part of a team and needed to be there today. She saw that I was about to cry and went to talk to her supervisor. Delta placed me on a flight to Miami and then I swapped to American Airlines to Honduras. I arrived in Miami around 2 and didn't leave until 8 that night. It was the longest layover I have ever experienced. I was all alone in an airport I'd never been in with nothing buy time to think of all the stress I was experiencing. I was on the verge of tears the whole time. I called mom and she talked to me for a bit. She shared a letter with me Will had written them from Alpine. It was such an encouragement to hear about the Lord's work in my sweet brother. I napped a little bit and just listened to everyone around me speak spanish. Finally my flight left. When I landed in San Pedro Sula, I was so relieved. I made it through customs fine and went to baggage claim. I waited until the carousel stopped. My bags weren't there. I choked back my tears and text Jane Ann. I reported my bags and then walked out into the lobby. The first faces I saw were Crista and Christina. I immediately started to cry. I couldn't stop them. I was tired. I was upset. I was relieved to finally be there. I was stressed. Then Roberto came walking up. gave me a huge hug and a kiss on the cheek. He wiped my tears and went to talk to the airline people. We went home with no bags. The girls had to give me everything. I went on for the next 3 days sharing with the others. Roberto talked with the airlines everyday! He worked so hard to get my bags. Every day they didn't come and I teared up, Roberto just hugged me and let me know they were going to be here soon. My bags finally came on Saturday. 


On Thursday and Friday Jenny, Anna, Eric and I worked at a school in Las Brisas. Las Brisas is a very poor part of San Pedro Sula. The children we worked with have families. Most of them are at school because someone is sponsoring them. As soon as we walked in the door they ran up to us and gave us hugs and kisses. We paired off to teach english in the mornings. Anna and I taught fifth, fourth and first grade. They were so cute. When we walked into the first grade class, they all yelled "good morning teacher!!!" That's the only English they really knew. So, we worked on numbers, colors, foods and how to ask and answer simple conversation questions. We taught them "head, shoulders, knees and toes" and played símon dice (simon says) and heads up 7up with them. In the afternoon we did VBS worksheets and had a Bible story. Jenny and I had the older kids and Anna and Eric had the younger kids. We also played soccer with them. They are so good!  It was a very good way to start our trip. We instantly fell in love with the kids. On Sunday we took the mission team that had just come in from Texas to church where most of the students go. The principle of the school is the pastor there. All the kids came and sat with us. There were kids everywhere on our pews. Seeing the humble life that these people live and the joy that they have was beautiful. Their worth is in Christ. They are a beautiful picture of faithfulness. 

Fabiola. :) 

Jonathan. :)

Any y Fabiola. :)

a prayer request.

precious friends... 

i have a favor to ask. i leave honduras a week from tomorrow but i am in no way ready to come home. i can feel my heart becoming bitter at the thought of returning to a life of privilege and comfort. i don't want to be comfortable. i fear complacency. my heart has been forever captured by the people of honduras. i am farther away from home than i have ever been but have never felt so at home. 

i was reading in "Knowing God" the other day and Packer reminded me of this... 

"He seeks the fellowship of his people, and sends them both sorrows and joys in order to detach their love from other things and attach it to himself. Still he teaches believers to value his promised gifts by making them wait for those gifts, and compelling them to pray persistently for them, before he bestows them."  

it was exactly what i needed to hear. it is very easy for someone to come to a country like honduras and fall in love with it. throughout my stay here i have prayed faithfully that i would see clearly the Lord's plan for me here in honduras. it is a very huge blessing that God has placed a discerning spirit in me. i always wanted to do short term missions but that was a selfish desire. He is calling me to a life of being uncomfortable. He is teaching me patience. He is showing me what it means to recklessly pursue His will. Oh the things that he is showing me. 

so, i just ask that you would pray for my heart. that i may serve the Lord faithfully and with gladness in the states while my heart waits patiently to return to the people of honduras.   

just a little bit.

once again.. i am sorry that this is going to be short and not in depth at all. we just do not have time to sit and blog or email. we have very long, busy, tiring and AMAZING days! 


this week we will be working at Casitas all week with Tod Bush and his amazing team! Casitas is a home that houses girls from ages 12 to 19. These girls are teaching me so much! i cannot wait to share it with you. 


i have only been sick once. last thursday night i woke up with a bug. it was a 2 day deal but my precious friends took really good care of me. like i said before, i love everything about this place. smells, people, landscape, language, food... EVERYTHING. 


i love you and cannot wait to share pictures and stories!!!! 


you can be praying for me over the next little while. my heart is already beginning to feel a bit of bitterness at the fact that i am going to have to leave. i am so excited for Caitlin to come and experience what I have; however, it is going to be a constant struggle for me not to be jealous that she is with the people that i love so much. 


fun fact. my dear friends, Crista and Christina have decided to memorize Philippians chapter two while here. we can now say from memory verses 1-13. it has been such a treat! i find myself reciting it over and over again in my head throughout the day and it helps me so much! 


PS... MOM CHECK YOUR EMAIL!!!!! :)